19. Oct. 2009
It's amazing how easy it is to forget how it felt to be with people [back home]. Even people closest to me that I'm still in contact with, I even see picture of them and kind of conjure up faded-ish memories that seem more like details. Semi-void of feelings sometimes--not that I don't have feelings for them but they somehow feel more abstract right now with the concrete life of Bahia and my new friends who I know how to be around. When I watch videos of myself around people back home it feels even weirdER because i'm like "is that really what I act like with them?"
But i don't really remember how I am with those people or what an every day interaction with them is like. I forgot.
I think it's a procedural memory that I've forgotten, because I haven't been using it recently.
But I see these people's images and they are definitely familiar, like my own face but at the same time not quite them really.
It's hard to explain but I guess it just seems like that is another world and right now this world of EAP Bahia with my family seems more real and concrete, because it is. I guess it makes sense. But I do still miss everyone.