drinks with Arivaldo

11 Nov. 2009

They were closing up the Botanical Garden and apparently Arivaldo, Debbie, and Arivaldo's partner were going to a concert back at Campo Grande, so Arivaldo offered me a ride and I'm like thanks! But we were going to pick up his partner still. So we went over to her apartment and there was like a little, casual bar thing (they're all over the place by the way) outside of her apartment so Arivaldo Debbie and I just chilled there waiting.

[Like this, but I took this photo in Arembepe]

I guess Arivaldo already anticipated the long wait... we were there like 45 minutes or something while she finished getting ready.
But it was chill, we just sat there talking about stuff.
Arivaldo is one of the favorite people that I have met here. He's really relaxed and easy to talk with. He also has so much interesting knowledge. And I love plants, as fellow inhabitants of this earth. So I love talking to people who know a lot about them.
Anyway, I then I asked him if he had a lot of plants in his house and he's like: "not one" and I thought it was pretty funny and this is when he introduced me to the common saying:

"casa de ferreiro, espeto de pau",

which means something like the blacksmith's house, a wooden fireplace, which is about the irony about how some times what people do professionally is not reflected in what they personally do outside of that realm. Like the English "The shoemaker's child goes around barefoot"

He is pretty knowledgeable in Spanish and Mexican customs too. Apparently he has some Mexican colleagues and friends. He was saying some of the words that his Mexican friends have trouble with like "Bairro" and "Feira"; they tend to forget and say "Barrio" and "Feria" which is more Spanish. So that's a good pattern to take note of: most words that end with "-rio/a" or "rria/o", are likely to be -eira. or -airo, -airro. And a few others words that are the most commonly mispronounced by Spanish-speakers.

But Arivaldo and Tania both knew about a lot of the animals and life in Mexico. For example how we love to eat cactus and we never mix oranges or pineapples with milk in Mexico like they do here in Brasil (It's associated with stomach aches like not mixing lime and milk either because it curdles! --and it's just weird to many Mexicans, anyone hear any other reason why we don't do that?).

Oranges and Milk:

[photo by: JohnAugustinestate's]

I had realized this Bahian/Brasilian custom before Arivaldo told me though, because I was really surprised when my mãe asked if I wanted my orange juice with milk, I'm like what?!
It's so taboo to me I guess.
It's like in the U.S. you don't mix fish and milk very much, or put "American" cheese in smoothies... Okay I'm having trouble finding a U.S. equivalent, but Japanese people, would it not be absurd to mix green tea and milk? That's what I hear anyway--from being scolded for doing it myself, jaja.
But I tried it! (the orange juice and milk). I did it because I feel like the milk they have here is not the same as the milk I have had in the U.S. or Mexico. In Mexico it's often more fresh and less processed; in the states it's a little more processed--but in both cases I know they have a lot of lactose. Meanwhile

the cow milk they have here is bought in little cartons that can be outside the fridge for months...

so I don't know. And sure enough I didn't have any lactose intolerant reaction luckily :) . but I do restrict my consumption--don't go trying a lot if you're lactose intolerant too though, because I don't know for sure it won't hurt.

Avocados! or Abacate [Port.], Aguacate [Span.]:
There is also this difference that here in Brasil, Avocados are conceptualized as being in a sweet/dessert family. Arivaldo was also aware that it is not the case for a lot of places. In Mexico and in most parts of the States it's associated with more savory foods; it's in guacamole. Lime and salt come to mind to me for avocados.
Like you don't add guacamole to your cake. (Or do you?) But here my mãe likes to put some sugar on it and eat it in spoonfuls. Which I am not against either, I tried that too. And I got my sisters to try the lime with salt version and we both liked the new versions.
It is very common in Brasil to make avocado milkshakes (again with the milk jaja) with sugar and lime--woah! watch out Mexicans, triple taboo. Jk. But those are also good, I recommend you try an avocado milkshake.

Then we were talking about Bahian slang and we found out where "Ó Paí, Ó" comes from. Yes it's the title of a pretty popular movie (which I recommend because it's a really good Brazilian film), but it also is a kind of stereotypical Bahian expression that is also used all over Brasil, although not as frequently. We decided that it most likely comes from "Olha para isso, olha" It's common to repeat either the verb or "não" for emphasis. Like: "não brinque com isso, não" emphatic "don't NOT joke about that".
And "Ó" is commonly used to substitute for "olha" which means "look" either figuratively or literally. To call your attention to something usually. and para isso, means "look at that", or "watch out/it". Actually someone said that to me one day that I was in a little local store and I backed up and accidently bumped into a lady behind me, and she said that to me "Ó Paí, Ó"

Arivaldo is really awesome. He's also been a single daddy for a while; I'm not sure why, I didn't want to pry, but he has a little 2 year old baby. I sat next to his car-seat. Arivaldo had some pretty funny stories to tell about him. And explained why the car-seat was all torn up...apparently he likes to bite things.

The reason I tagged this blog with so many different things--well besides feeling like they're relevant and appropriate--I thought it is important to tag it under "gender relations" and "men" because I don't want negative things to be the only things to show up for them-- that wouldn't be representative.
I feel like Arivaldo was completely respectful and casual-professional the whole time, and I am very aware/sensitive about this kind of stuff and sexual harassment etc., and I at no time felt like he was crossing any line.
It was casual because we were joking and laughing and chilling, but he was not implying any inappropriateness, he was not dominating, he was like a good teacher friend who treated Debbie and me like colleagues who were deserving of respect. There was no focus on how we were women and he was a man or that he was older and we were younger; he still respected us and treated us like equals.
Finally his partner came and we were off back to our side of town. He was so kind in taking me literally to the gate of my apartment.
Obrigada Arivaldo!
I came back way later than expected and super hungry but I had a really great time.