Sao Paulo IV (ultimo dia)

23 Nov 2009

LAST day

It's kinda sad that we're leaving and we still didn't get to do a lot of the things we wanted to do, but --just a reason to come back right?

Since it's our last day we just decided to go back to the places we really liked, like Liberdade again, and may be I was thinking we could go back and find that head band from the Mercado Chic, because I decided I really want it and I want to support that creative woman who made it. And I don't know what else, but we have to be back somewhat early because our flight leaves at 7 in the evening and we have to still figure out how we're getting to the airport and an hour early to check in our bags etc.

On our way back to Oscar Freire I remembered this place that caught my attention: it's called "The Best Chocolate Cake in the Whole World" and for some reason... we didn't go in, and now I really wonder why. Well another thing to go on my "future to do in Sampa"

But anyway I found no Mercado Chic, but we went by all these other super expensive shops that were closed last time and so we decided to go in, and yes I tried on stuff I liked.

I tried on a 2,000 DOLLAR dress!!!

Oh my gosh the dress was beautiful--we'd hope so, right. And it was a really fabric de calidade that doesn't wrinkle. I went to try it on and the dressing/fitting room, it was bigger than any room I’ve had, and had mirrors all around and a huge empty clothes rack on wheels (supposed to be for everything I want to try on I guess).

There was also a pot with beautiful plants and a couch. The dressing room was pretty much a master bedroom with exaggerated amounts of mirror. And then the guy came in (after I was done putting it on—but either way he didn’t seem to be very interested in people of my sex) and asked me how it was, blablabla and he helped me fix it up a little. He was totally obviously a Fashion-Nazi by the way he was dressed and his hair and yeah, he just generally had a great sense of style.

And I'd just like to comment on how this experience made me feel so weird. Because, first of all, I don’t usually go and try on expensive clothes or anything and then secondly because—yeah he was trying to sell me something—but I DO NOT get that treatment in expensive stores back in the states. A worker at a boutique in Paris actually once straight up told me that the clothes there was too expensive and that I should leave!!! Okay? And even in the states when I go to Nordstrom with my family (granted we’re usually just go in because we like to park in the structure next to it, but we browse etc. ) people just ignore us or give us looks that virtually say what the French lady said to me. And so many other situations, at other stores, restaurants, I have experienced a lot of racism and this is in California, which has had such diversity for a long time, but yeah diverse in the sense that we’re all there just geographically economically segregated. Oh man sometimes I just get really hopeless to think of how “backwards” things are.

Anyway so I was again reminded of those power relations I was talking about before. So all that discomfort in being in places like this and all the bad treatment I have received through racial profiling in the U.S. disappeared in one of the most expensive shopping places in the WORLD!!! Really, would I be treated the way I was in Oscar Freire in Fifth Avenue, New York? I really doubt it.

And again I have to ask why. As soon as I spoke without a Paulista accent the guy was like “oh where are you from?” and I said California. And I honestly feel like that came with the assumption that I have money to go out and buy 2,000 dollar dresses like that OR that I should be treated with more respect I don’t know. And is it because it’s the U.S. or is it because it’s California?

Would it have been different if I had said I was from Mexico? Hmm… But at the same time, again, only a few people from Mexico can do what I’m doing, so is it because I’m traveling? It is obviously a luxury, and a privileged experience in this society, and like I said before: it is not a random thing that it is I who am traveling somewhere instead of this clerk or my house keeper back in Bahia; she isn’t traveling to visit me in the U.S. How likely is it that it would be reversed, and the reasons too? If she went to the states she said it would be for working, meanwhile I’m…well…trying on expensive dresses and having fun, and studying. It definitely presupposes some power and privilege dynamics.

Anyway this is a instance of intersectionality because I’m sure all these factors interact. But these instances are the ones that really make me be more aware of what I’m doing and who/how I’m affecting, how I’m perpetuating the tourist dilemmas, and I really don’t want to take advantage of this position. I didn’t come here to be relatively superior since back in “my country” I’m constantly reminded “I’m inferior”.

Anyway…

Lena started feeling really sick and I kept looking through the stores because about one hundred years ago I was interested in fashion design and I still must say that Sao Paulo, as the fashion capital of the Americas, is very creative and I love their use of colors in fashion. So anyway Lena just kept getting worse so she decided to just sit at a park and then go to back to the hostel.

And I kept on going, I wanted to eat something at Liberdade, so I went. This time I looked around more slowly walked into Japanese bookstores and chilled in the main plaza:

and tried to find one of the restaurants that was on that other blog that I had looked up—but I didn’t find it. But it was okay because I ended up eating somewhere that was dericious and super well priced although it wasn’t fancy or anything, the food was authentic, good, and filling.

I had some raw salmon, tempura, tofu, miso soup, a bowl of rice, and pickled cucumber.

It was so good. And the place was lined with bookshelves stocked with manga! Oh if only I were interested. Jk. It’s okay. I liked Ranma 1/2 and that’s about it. Oh yeah and then before leaving Liberdade I got this:

a mix of snacks from Kanazawa.

I talked to a few of the people working there--mainly in Portuguese because I don’t speak Japanese, but one guy was a pretty fresh immigrant he was in Brazil for 3 years and he was speaking to me without much of an accent either (I mean compared to how I have trouble understanding some people from Japan who are new to English) so I guess it's Portuguese may be pretty easy for japanses people to pronounce, and that makes sense there are pretty much the same phonmese like the /zh/ and the nasal sounds, and /z/ etc. for any liguists who know what i'm talking about much better than I do.

it was really cool and I slipped in a few of the Japanese words that I knew while I was speaking. It was a really cool experience, but yeah then I ran back to the hostel. Since we had already checked out, Lena was just laying on a couch in the living room watching some movie and apparently she felt better now but still she had been feeling really sick.

She was thinking may be it was food poisoning or may be because she had been walking so much the day before, but I was glad she was feeling a little better.

Then quickly we found these 2 other guys who were also going to the airport and we split a cab! Yay!

And we rushed off..only to be slowed down by immobile traffic for a while, and we got to the airport like 15 minutes before our flight was supposed to leave, but we made it! And I was just sitting in the room eating my leftovers. I forgot a fork so I just used my hands after washing them well.

oh man this was quite a trip,

I'll see you later Sampa!

<3
Sonia

Cachoeira I

14 November 2010
I have no idea how long the ride was to Cachoeira, Bahia because I was having such a deep conversation with my friend Katherine the whole way there. Some good old life story time. But we stopped at Santo Amaro first, it is where Caetano Veloso is from. (If you don't know who he is, you should find out because he is HUGE in Brazil. He is one of the founders of the Tropicália movement, a super famous musician, iconic of Brasil and I saw his house in Salvador too.)

All I know it was long enought that I was urging to use the bathroom and in dire need of stretching my legs. So we were there at the time and day that they have this big feira livre farmer's market. Very big and more open air than Feira de Sao Joaquim.




Two different types of mangos


I feel like these pinapples (abacaxi) are so tiny.
We also happened to be there--well actually I'm pretty sure it was more like very well planned out by the coordinator so that our visit would fall on the time for their anual festivity of a sponsoring saint. So there are going to be costumes, and now I'm glad my mae, my aunt, and I had made my costume!
There were a lot of fotographs of past celebrations and there is a lot of paint involved, symbolic of the fight between good and bad, god and devil and how as humans we're caught in the middle. At least that's what I understood from Clara's explanation.
different types of farinha (flour)
These are all things that the lady grows herself and I think that's pretty awesome. Some day I would like to grow my own food too.


It is tradition for Clara to buy flowers here and give them to the people at the place we were going to stay. So here am I holding these 1 real and 2 real flowers (US$0.50-1.00)


I would love to paint my house this color :)

Movimento dos Trabalhadores Rurais Sem Terra (MST) = Landless Worker's movement

There is a huge history behind this movement it's hard to go into it, but basically it's about how so many people were/are screwed over by the capitalist system that values profit and capital over people. When all the land is "owned" by only a few people literally 3% of the population (which makes one wonder who could possibly be the legitimate owner of land if land were really just there for people to take and control) and it's really not like these benefits eventually trickle down, that's all just B.S.
So these are people in MST are in struggle for land reform. what they do is sometimes just start working on land that is neglected for several years and has had nothing done with it and they make use of it. And this is in land all over Brasil.
So we visited a commune on one of these such lands and here two representatives were telling us what they're about and I really am glad we got the opportunity to include this in our excursion and education of Brasil. I think it is really important to at least know about the social movements that are going on in the country you're visiting and ideally try to get involved in some positive way.
This is a pretty small commune I think. But please don't have this idea that this is the type that have heavily been hammered into our brains and history from the Red Scare, of communist is evil. It's really nothing more than an activist co-op where people are helping each other and trying to be self-sustaining in the process of getting equality.
I didn't get very far in my recorrido of the commune because we just started talking to this one family and they have little pintos, pollitos in spanish. And I met these Argentinian, Japanese, and German roosters and chickens and their mestico children.

Then we finally got to Cachoeira! And here the decorations for festivity are everywhere:




We visited the historical Irmandade de Nossa Senhora de Boa Morte. These sisterhoods and brotherhoods were also a big part of cultural resistance, and not only was this a racial one but a female one. Completely run by these strong women for generations.


What I got from them was that they have very syncretic practices mixing Catholocism and Candomblé. We spoke with them and they were really cool about telling us about what they do.


We found this poster there. And what we were to see the next day would have explained it completely.
Then we visited some local shops. This one was mainly about religious wooden carvings and figures. here you can see some patron saints and the famous figa. The fist for good luck.
And some really good sketches.
The picture above is actually the one I am using as a background for this blogsite.
The church--rather ONE of the churcheS. There are always so many churches in an area even if they're all Catholic (syncretic).
O Pouso da Palavra (The resting place of the Word) Is this really cool gallery of some really radical artists/artistic thinking. Here's the guy who runs it above. They have music, paintings, photography, artcrafts. It's really a cozy little place like the name implies with a really groovy vibe.
What's really cool about the guy's philosophy (I'm so sorry I forgot his name...:( ) but he actually provides the supplies like paint and canvas to many locals who don't normally have access to it but are really great artists. The works of the fields and this one are all done by these people who find it really hard to get these luxuries of art supplies but as you can see have such an amazing talent.
This is Fred /Fredgy/ our "tour guide/professor" he's really out there. Very enthusiastic and spontaneous and sometimes says the most awkward or socially innapproriate things. Oh and is always telling us about these amazing discounts for traveling that never actually end up being helpful or available--oh Fred. But we definitely enjoy being around him. He's fun and out there. Really just out there. Here he is claiming he's going to buy this ink drawing of the carnival-like festival that is celebrated tomorrow.

Then, I don't know if I had mentioned this already but where we're staying is an ex-convention! Like a Catholic nun convention, yes. So it was very lovely. The above is part of the patio.
This is our bedroom. So interesting. Some people say it's creepy, and I agree that it kind of makes me feel like an orphan--espeically when none of our parents are around right now :(
But it isn't really creepy not with the life that it's filled with.
The hallways...yes well it's not so filled with life at the moment but my friends and I were out dancing a little bit. in the hallways, practicing our Afro-Brazilian dance.

Then we had lunch. Buffet style as usual and it did get a little stressful being at the end of the line all the time. I always feel bad for my vegetarian friends--especially Algebra because she's always at the end and sometimes all that's left is meat. And seeing as even the beans have meat usually, it's hard. She eats rice. but no, then we just wait a little and then we can get our little salad. The food was good. It was not salty. Oh this is waht I like about eating out sometimes.

Then we had some milk desert. Julisa says it looks and tastes like "chongos" the mexican desert that's similar to this. I have no idea but my Mexican mom says it might be the Brazilian version of it too.
Next we're going to the famous Cachoeira cigar factory!

Quote: 3 year old

10 Nov. 2009

There is an independent school nearby for children of a certain "underpriviledged" community in Salvador, and I go there and play with these super energetic and bright children. Oh they always seem so excited. Anyway when I asked one of the girls (she is apparently very fond of me and sometimes can't let go of me--literally she'll hold on to my leg for a really long time even if I'm trying to walk) what she wanted to be when she grows up and she said:

"um..lavar pratos...lavar pratos e limpar casa"

wash dishes and clean houses.

then I asked what she thinks her sister wants to be and she said the same thing.
This isn't a super surprising response though considering the class and gender relations. Over 90% of the domestic workers in Bahia or all of Brazil I can't remember are poor Black women. And this is involved with the politics of being a woman and their assumed qualities and also because of the institutional racism and sexism that makes it almost impossible for Blacks and women, and especially Black women to see upwards mobility because of course domestic work is not paid to the level of work and skill that it takes.

And this supports that children are really astute to perceiving situations--but of course I could just be reading into this, and assuming that may be washing dishes and cleaning houses is something someone she cares for a lot does, and looking up to that person, she would like to do the same.

Oh I managed to find a picture of us. That's her on one of such occasions (and that's me, the taller one :).
I know it makes it awkward with the faces out of the picture, but oh well. She's so adorable like all the other kids I've had the opportunity to work with. They have such great energy and that's why I like being around kids.

ps. I work at the on-campus day care at my university and miss them--oh the movie BABIES is coming out!! I can't wait

Oh right some vocabulary I learned from the children:
macaquinho=piggy back ride, they LOVE those

They also all called me Tia, although I am not their aunt. So I guess it can be used as a form of respect of elder but not super formal like "a senhora/ o senhor" which is very formal.

It's so funny because on my way to class the other day I was trying to get past one of the bancas (newstands) and there were like 7 teenagers getting stuff there and I was saying licensa, licensa, and then one girl said "deixem a tia passar" and I am only like 4 years older but they still called me Tia, and I laughed.

Being a Tourist Part VI: Resolutions

Now that I’ve said all these things that make me feel bad about being a tourist, I’ll say some positive things—because really it’s not all bad and it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy myself. So I’ll tell you a little big about how to deal with it seeing as I am traveling and I am a tourist and things are the way they are.
But I mean just look at me! I cannot lie and say that I’m not having a great time.

I do think it helps to be aware that by being a part of this study abroad program I am supporting most, if not all, of these problems above--at least indirectly. I think that being aware can affect the way that I behave, because I am not here to see beautiful people in bikinis and sungas (speedos), or to just party and drink água de côco on the beach.
What I want to do is communicate with people, to open my understanding of the world, to have culture shock (hopefully a shift in paradigm), to be more understanding, and see more alternatives to what I’ve learned by my experience prior to this. The way it has helped constructed my view of life. I want to learn different people’s ways of living to possibly incorporate the parts that I really like into the way that I live. I love to make Brazilian friends (and my EAP friends I’ve learned so much from them too) and listen to their perspectives. Also to learn about histories and other people’s struggles.
And I think that although that doesn’t mean that what I do isn’t problematic, I do think that a different attitude can help because it generally leads to different behavior.

But it’s also not like I will learn different things from these people because they are Brazilian, and they’re supposed to be different from people of the U.S. Sure there might be distinct cultural patterns but I think it offers different experiences communicating with different people as they are different people, not just because they are different ethnicities. So try as much as you can to not homogenize any group of people and expect that what information you gather on the culture and history etc., be true for every single person of that community. Expect variety.

I am also conscious of not being a patronizing, “generous American helping these poor people of the Third world”. I know lots of better off people of the “first worlds” dream of this, but this is also problematic and can, understandably, offend a lot of people. If what you would like to do is not just travel somewhere and take advantage of everything while not giving anything back to the community, then there’s nothing wrong with that in the sense that you are wanting to participate in something that is beneficial to the community. I would love to participate alongside community members with what I can, but like I’ve said before, you need to know the history, culture, and politics of the community and much more in order to best participate. And very importantly DO NOT assume that people can’t know what their problems are and they need someone to solve them for them. People know what their biggest issues or problems are if they have them, and possibly they just need to get more organized or have more opportunity for discussion with each other to experiment and decide how to take steps. Make sure that if you are involved in this kind of thing that you don’t see it as a charity—I don’t know if I can really go deep into that issue as it’s a different one, in this entry. I might be able to in another one but it’s complicated stuff as well and if you do think of it as charity it can take more than reading to be able to change that mindset, but the point is that it is patronizing. It’s still taking that power position and undermining the community members’ agency. That they have agency, the ability to act and see results in other words.

Anyway, how else do I deal with it? I’m not really sure. Thinking in this way makes it a little easier, kind of just hoping I’m not the worst tourist EVER. However, I’m not sure that this cognitive dissonance will go away any time soon. And by cognitive dissonance (out comes my psychology) I just mean like a contradiction between different thoughts or beliefs that you have or differences between what you think you should do and what you want to do/ what you actually do. At the same time that I feel bad about it, I’m obviously still here, I knew most of this before coming and still decided to do it, but at the same time I love being here in Bahia. Again look at my pictures—even the ones in which I think I look like such a big tourist, I can’t say I’m not happy.

I love having met all the people I have and learning about things and seeing the consequences of historical events in person. I liked seeing that Quilombo community and seeing the striking differences between the Portuguese and the ex-slave church. I like going to Capoeira class, I love the sound of the Berimbau, and all the heavenly food that I’m eating. I love the sun and I do like going to the beach. [And I do wonder whether that is so “touristy” to go the beach for fun when all the locals that I’ve asked “hey so what do you like to do on the weekends or on your free time here in Bahia?” and most people despite being from different backgrounds here in Bahia will be like “ir à praia e os barzinhos” = go to the beach and bars. Without even asking them though, this is quite evident when all the beaches super crowded—and with locals, evenings and especially weekends. And I keep hearing everyone saying how they can’t wait till the summer to be able to go out to the beach every day. Which just left thinking “ummm…it’s soo hot already, does it really get much hotter?”]

The point of all of this incoherent rambling is that I try to do what locals do and really I am trying to be flexible. I don’t expect being catered to all the time. I do not want a constantly air-conditioned, English-speaking, American-food-eating Brazilian experience. I think it’s great that I’m living with a Brazilian family instead of staying at a hotel. (Well I can’t really afford a hotel but I like hostels you get a good mix of people in them.) I don’t take tour buses outside of what this EAP program already has but prefer to just walk around and check things out. Not just the regular tourist sites.

Tips I would give are:

To just kind of NOT follow a map, or tour book; have days that aren’t so structured, and see what you find. Preferably don’t go alone if you go very far in case you get lost, but sometimes it’s cool to just go by yourself so you’re not carrying around an English-Speaking bubble that flat out points you out as a tourist and kidn of keeps other out.
And really try to go in as informed about the community as you can, but don’t think homogenous dichotomous thoughts or stereotype just from that knowledge. Try not to have a set idea of expectations of people or situations. Try to be flexible, act wisely, be respectful, try new things! And really try to enjoy your experience as much as possible BUT with consideration.

Being a Tourist Part V: Race, Class, and Power Issues

As I said in the beginning, tourism is embedded in power/race/class issues. Race because, class is very strongly tied with race to this day and that just has to be acknowledged. I think this clip art depicts this quite nicely with the Black person catering to the White Man. The White Man is typically the one in this direction of the power. And I know that I am an exception. My family and I are below the National Poverty Line, I am a woman, and I am of color, so I am not the regular candidate--but at the same time I cannot say that my poverty is the same as the favelados because obviously I am not starving and I am very very very thankful for that.

I am studying at an expensive University of California living in a town with a pretty high standard of living, I have the privilege(?) [I am still having an internal debate about what should be considered privilege and what should have been a guarantee in this context] of being able to eat organic food (I chose food over apparel, cars, and technology)—but the point is that I have all and more than my survival needs met--obviously if I have the luxury of traveling and studying abroad. But the point is that even though I am poor and a person of color, there still are different power dynamics between me and my host family, and my tour guides, and the people who “entertain” (Afro-Brazilian culture shows intended for tourists, capoeira shows) and work for me (our house cleaner, people making souvenirs) etc. And this can’t easily be reversed. Most of these people will not have the chance to come and visit me and take pictures of me while I entertain them.


Going off of the race thing, I do think that I feel a lot more comfortable not being White I feel like I might be less intimidating or foreign-seeming because I have a Latin American background too.
Short story time:
one time a few and my friends and I were talking on the street with this one guy who had a really cute baby and another really cute son who was around 4. We were just talking and playing when the 4-year-old mentioned to my friend “I like your color” and she’s like “oh you like the color of my shirt?” and the boy said “no” pointing to her arm “your skin color”. And she was pretty much left not sure as to how to respond. She just wasn’t expecting that, kind of in shock. Afterwards she regretted not saying something like “I like your color of skin too”. But really she was just shocked and had never had anyone say that to her before.


Michel Foucault is a good read on "Power"

And So-Min Cheong & Marc Miller, also wrote a good article titled
"Power and Tourism: a Foucauldian Observation" (1999)

Another article is found at:

www.pasosonline.org/Publicados/1103/PS020103.pdf

Being a tourist Part III: Taking Pictures

Pictures are really complicated to me and I try to be aware of what they potentially mean.

Political and Philosophical Issues:

From my Indigenous struggles in the Americas class at the UC, our professor who specializes in ethnographies of indigenous peoples in South America told us that several indigenous communities really don’t want their pictures taken; it is seen as a form of violence.

Many people find it really hard to understand photography as violence, (even I’m not sure if I can fully understand that) but photography really is imbedded with philosophical and political issues that may not be very obvious.

It’s kind of how here in the states it is illegal for magazines and to show nudity (like nipples etc.) when it isn’t porn which can only be restricted to sales in adult stores and the like. However, there are exceptions: when the naked people aren’t White or from Euro-industrialized countries. It is fine when National Geographic shows naked African and South American people in their homes, but really it is an invasion of privacy.

They always justify it with “well it’s because this is their natural state where they live”--and that is the key! This is normal where they live but by taking their pictures and publishing them in millions of other communities where it isn’t, changes the meaning. And even if the photographers ask for their permission it isn’t likely that it is informed consent all the time since those people may not really know how widely the magazine is viewed. And even more they may not know how different the context is and how different the perspectives of these viewers who are allowed to enter their privacy. Do they know that many people looking at them sexualize their bodies, exoticize them or think they’re backwards and savages? Probably not, so I think that it is a form of violence to invade such privacy and create an image of something different than what it is.

These tactics have been used as tools in colonization before. To depict people as savages in need of civilization. Or Muslim women in the Middle East as oppressed because they may wear headscarves. “Liberation” of women has been the recent false justification for current occupation and exploitation of countries.

I personally am not planning on taking pictures of women in thong bikinis or starving babies. Even though I don’t think that I am exoticizing Brazil and Brazilians, doesn’t the whole taking pictures of fruits and people and forests and beaches that aren’t so common to me kind of imply that? I’m doing it because I think it’s interesting because it’s different, or beautiful, and isn’t that what exoticizing is?

And this inner conflict is intensified when I’m posting pictures on this blog because I am necessarily taking them out of their context. They don’t mean the same thing to you than they do to people who live here. But I do think hard and weigh the benefits and harms of every picture.
And I usually don’t post pictures of people without their permission but I didn’t get permission from every single person who is in the pictures I take. I usually do if they are the focus of the picture but sometimes there isn’t the opportunity to do so, and I always prefer candid shots. So many pictures of people, I don’t post and I try to cut out their faces or something because they have a right to privacy too, even if they’re performing for us. I mentioned in the Lençóis entry that I felt uncomfortable posting pictures of the capoeiristas. I can’t really explain it, and not everyone has to think this way, though. These are just my feelings and perspectives and well obviously I end up taking pictures and here is how I go about doing that:

When and Why I Take them:
In general when I decide to take certain pictures I mainly do it for the purpose of assisting my memory. I am a very visual person and pictures really help me. I also just think of it as with taking pictures with my family and it’s not because I feel more powerful than them or think they’re exotic. It’s because I really liked that moment and wanted to capture it in an image to remember it for longer. There is emotion attached to all of the pictures I take. So those are my personal rules for taking pictures: for the sake of memory; they’re primarily for me and I will only show those pictures to people that I trust if at all. Another rule is, not only get people’s permission, but ideally after we consider each other friends or at least had meaningful conversations so it’s more to remember the people I meet than to “take a picture” of someone doing something “different”.

Deciding which to Post:
The reason I post up pictures though—apart from breaking between lots of words that can become a little tedious and boring—is to open up my viewers’ world by sharing visuals of these places and in hopes that you will view them with respect and try to understand what’s going on I guess. I do it especially for people who don’t have the opportunity to really see things like this or know too many people who have studied abroad and I feel that pictures really help orient. I have been lucky to see this and want to share. I know that there are many places that I will never get to see personally and I would really appreciate pictures and stories so I can travel vicariously through others.
The pictures I post are those that I don’t think would invade people’s privacy too much and hopefully to take them in a way that I’m not exoticizing or scandalizing anything. These are people or places just like anywhere we’re from. From my perspective though, there are fewer differences than similarities and I see more familiarity in things than not. But, anyway if there is ever any picture that offends you that I post here, or possibly a different way that I should post it, or if you think I should give more descriptions, let me know. Whatever your comments I would really appreciate them. And also if you want to discuss these issues that I mention here, I would love to!