Sao Paulo IV (ultimo dia)

23 Nov 2009

LAST day

It's kinda sad that we're leaving and we still didn't get to do a lot of the things we wanted to do, but --just a reason to come back right?

Since it's our last day we just decided to go back to the places we really liked, like Liberdade again, and may be I was thinking we could go back and find that head band from the Mercado Chic, because I decided I really want it and I want to support that creative woman who made it. And I don't know what else, but we have to be back somewhat early because our flight leaves at 7 in the evening and we have to still figure out how we're getting to the airport and an hour early to check in our bags etc.

On our way back to Oscar Freire I remembered this place that caught my attention: it's called "The Best Chocolate Cake in the Whole World" and for some reason... we didn't go in, and now I really wonder why. Well another thing to go on my "future to do in Sampa"

But anyway I found no Mercado Chic, but we went by all these other super expensive shops that were closed last time and so we decided to go in, and yes I tried on stuff I liked.

I tried on a 2,000 DOLLAR dress!!!

Oh my gosh the dress was beautiful--we'd hope so, right. And it was a really fabric de calidade that doesn't wrinkle. I went to try it on and the dressing/fitting room, it was bigger than any room I’ve had, and had mirrors all around and a huge empty clothes rack on wheels (supposed to be for everything I want to try on I guess).

There was also a pot with beautiful plants and a couch. The dressing room was pretty much a master bedroom with exaggerated amounts of mirror. And then the guy came in (after I was done putting it on—but either way he didn’t seem to be very interested in people of my sex) and asked me how it was, blablabla and he helped me fix it up a little. He was totally obviously a Fashion-Nazi by the way he was dressed and his hair and yeah, he just generally had a great sense of style.

And I'd just like to comment on how this experience made me feel so weird. Because, first of all, I don’t usually go and try on expensive clothes or anything and then secondly because—yeah he was trying to sell me something—but I DO NOT get that treatment in expensive stores back in the states. A worker at a boutique in Paris actually once straight up told me that the clothes there was too expensive and that I should leave!!! Okay? And even in the states when I go to Nordstrom with my family (granted we’re usually just go in because we like to park in the structure next to it, but we browse etc. ) people just ignore us or give us looks that virtually say what the French lady said to me. And so many other situations, at other stores, restaurants, I have experienced a lot of racism and this is in California, which has had such diversity for a long time, but yeah diverse in the sense that we’re all there just geographically economically segregated. Oh man sometimes I just get really hopeless to think of how “backwards” things are.

Anyway so I was again reminded of those power relations I was talking about before. So all that discomfort in being in places like this and all the bad treatment I have received through racial profiling in the U.S. disappeared in one of the most expensive shopping places in the WORLD!!! Really, would I be treated the way I was in Oscar Freire in Fifth Avenue, New York? I really doubt it.

And again I have to ask why. As soon as I spoke without a Paulista accent the guy was like “oh where are you from?” and I said California. And I honestly feel like that came with the assumption that I have money to go out and buy 2,000 dollar dresses like that OR that I should be treated with more respect I don’t know. And is it because it’s the U.S. or is it because it’s California?

Would it have been different if I had said I was from Mexico? Hmm… But at the same time, again, only a few people from Mexico can do what I’m doing, so is it because I’m traveling? It is obviously a luxury, and a privileged experience in this society, and like I said before: it is not a random thing that it is I who am traveling somewhere instead of this clerk or my house keeper back in Bahia; she isn’t traveling to visit me in the U.S. How likely is it that it would be reversed, and the reasons too? If she went to the states she said it would be for working, meanwhile I’m…well…trying on expensive dresses and having fun, and studying. It definitely presupposes some power and privilege dynamics.

Anyway this is a instance of intersectionality because I’m sure all these factors interact. But these instances are the ones that really make me be more aware of what I’m doing and who/how I’m affecting, how I’m perpetuating the tourist dilemmas, and I really don’t want to take advantage of this position. I didn’t come here to be relatively superior since back in “my country” I’m constantly reminded “I’m inferior”.

Anyway…

Lena started feeling really sick and I kept looking through the stores because about one hundred years ago I was interested in fashion design and I still must say that Sao Paulo, as the fashion capital of the Americas, is very creative and I love their use of colors in fashion. So anyway Lena just kept getting worse so she decided to just sit at a park and then go to back to the hostel.

And I kept on going, I wanted to eat something at Liberdade, so I went. This time I looked around more slowly walked into Japanese bookstores and chilled in the main plaza:

and tried to find one of the restaurants that was on that other blog that I had looked up—but I didn’t find it. But it was okay because I ended up eating somewhere that was dericious and super well priced although it wasn’t fancy or anything, the food was authentic, good, and filling.

I had some raw salmon, tempura, tofu, miso soup, a bowl of rice, and pickled cucumber.

It was so good. And the place was lined with bookshelves stocked with manga! Oh if only I were interested. Jk. It’s okay. I liked Ranma 1/2 and that’s about it. Oh yeah and then before leaving Liberdade I got this:

a mix of snacks from Kanazawa.

I talked to a few of the people working there--mainly in Portuguese because I don’t speak Japanese, but one guy was a pretty fresh immigrant he was in Brazil for 3 years and he was speaking to me without much of an accent either (I mean compared to how I have trouble understanding some people from Japan who are new to English) so I guess it's Portuguese may be pretty easy for japanses people to pronounce, and that makes sense there are pretty much the same phonmese like the /zh/ and the nasal sounds, and /z/ etc. for any liguists who know what i'm talking about much better than I do.

it was really cool and I slipped in a few of the Japanese words that I knew while I was speaking. It was a really cool experience, but yeah then I ran back to the hostel. Since we had already checked out, Lena was just laying on a couch in the living room watching some movie and apparently she felt better now but still she had been feeling really sick.

She was thinking may be it was food poisoning or may be because she had been walking so much the day before, but I was glad she was feeling a little better.

Then quickly we found these 2 other guys who were also going to the airport and we split a cab! Yay!

And we rushed off..only to be slowed down by immobile traffic for a while, and we got to the airport like 15 minutes before our flight was supposed to leave, but we made it! And I was just sitting in the room eating my leftovers. I forgot a fork so I just used my hands after washing them well.

oh man this was quite a trip,

I'll see you later Sampa!

<3
Sonia

Being a Tourist Part VI: Resolutions

Now that I’ve said all these things that make me feel bad about being a tourist, I’ll say some positive things—because really it’s not all bad and it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy myself. So I’ll tell you a little big about how to deal with it seeing as I am traveling and I am a tourist and things are the way they are.
But I mean just look at me! I cannot lie and say that I’m not having a great time.

I do think it helps to be aware that by being a part of this study abroad program I am supporting most, if not all, of these problems above--at least indirectly. I think that being aware can affect the way that I behave, because I am not here to see beautiful people in bikinis and sungas (speedos), or to just party and drink água de côco on the beach.
What I want to do is communicate with people, to open my understanding of the world, to have culture shock (hopefully a shift in paradigm), to be more understanding, and see more alternatives to what I’ve learned by my experience prior to this. The way it has helped constructed my view of life. I want to learn different people’s ways of living to possibly incorporate the parts that I really like into the way that I live. I love to make Brazilian friends (and my EAP friends I’ve learned so much from them too) and listen to their perspectives. Also to learn about histories and other people’s struggles.
And I think that although that doesn’t mean that what I do isn’t problematic, I do think that a different attitude can help because it generally leads to different behavior.

But it’s also not like I will learn different things from these people because they are Brazilian, and they’re supposed to be different from people of the U.S. Sure there might be distinct cultural patterns but I think it offers different experiences communicating with different people as they are different people, not just because they are different ethnicities. So try as much as you can to not homogenize any group of people and expect that what information you gather on the culture and history etc., be true for every single person of that community. Expect variety.

I am also conscious of not being a patronizing, “generous American helping these poor people of the Third world”. I know lots of better off people of the “first worlds” dream of this, but this is also problematic and can, understandably, offend a lot of people. If what you would like to do is not just travel somewhere and take advantage of everything while not giving anything back to the community, then there’s nothing wrong with that in the sense that you are wanting to participate in something that is beneficial to the community. I would love to participate alongside community members with what I can, but like I’ve said before, you need to know the history, culture, and politics of the community and much more in order to best participate. And very importantly DO NOT assume that people can’t know what their problems are and they need someone to solve them for them. People know what their biggest issues or problems are if they have them, and possibly they just need to get more organized or have more opportunity for discussion with each other to experiment and decide how to take steps. Make sure that if you are involved in this kind of thing that you don’t see it as a charity—I don’t know if I can really go deep into that issue as it’s a different one, in this entry. I might be able to in another one but it’s complicated stuff as well and if you do think of it as charity it can take more than reading to be able to change that mindset, but the point is that it is patronizing. It’s still taking that power position and undermining the community members’ agency. That they have agency, the ability to act and see results in other words.

Anyway, how else do I deal with it? I’m not really sure. Thinking in this way makes it a little easier, kind of just hoping I’m not the worst tourist EVER. However, I’m not sure that this cognitive dissonance will go away any time soon. And by cognitive dissonance (out comes my psychology) I just mean like a contradiction between different thoughts or beliefs that you have or differences between what you think you should do and what you want to do/ what you actually do. At the same time that I feel bad about it, I’m obviously still here, I knew most of this before coming and still decided to do it, but at the same time I love being here in Bahia. Again look at my pictures—even the ones in which I think I look like such a big tourist, I can’t say I’m not happy.

I love having met all the people I have and learning about things and seeing the consequences of historical events in person. I liked seeing that Quilombo community and seeing the striking differences between the Portuguese and the ex-slave church. I like going to Capoeira class, I love the sound of the Berimbau, and all the heavenly food that I’m eating. I love the sun and I do like going to the beach. [And I do wonder whether that is so “touristy” to go the beach for fun when all the locals that I’ve asked “hey so what do you like to do on the weekends or on your free time here in Bahia?” and most people despite being from different backgrounds here in Bahia will be like “ir à praia e os barzinhos” = go to the beach and bars. Without even asking them though, this is quite evident when all the beaches super crowded—and with locals, evenings and especially weekends. And I keep hearing everyone saying how they can’t wait till the summer to be able to go out to the beach every day. Which just left thinking “ummm…it’s soo hot already, does it really get much hotter?”]

The point of all of this incoherent rambling is that I try to do what locals do and really I am trying to be flexible. I don’t expect being catered to all the time. I do not want a constantly air-conditioned, English-speaking, American-food-eating Brazilian experience. I think it’s great that I’m living with a Brazilian family instead of staying at a hotel. (Well I can’t really afford a hotel but I like hostels you get a good mix of people in them.) I don’t take tour buses outside of what this EAP program already has but prefer to just walk around and check things out. Not just the regular tourist sites.

Tips I would give are:

To just kind of NOT follow a map, or tour book; have days that aren’t so structured, and see what you find. Preferably don’t go alone if you go very far in case you get lost, but sometimes it’s cool to just go by yourself so you’re not carrying around an English-Speaking bubble that flat out points you out as a tourist and kidn of keeps other out.
And really try to go in as informed about the community as you can, but don’t think homogenous dichotomous thoughts or stereotype just from that knowledge. Try not to have a set idea of expectations of people or situations. Try to be flexible, act wisely, be respectful, try new things! And really try to enjoy your experience as much as possible BUT with consideration.

Being a tourist Part III: Taking Pictures

Pictures are really complicated to me and I try to be aware of what they potentially mean.

Political and Philosophical Issues:

From my Indigenous struggles in the Americas class at the UC, our professor who specializes in ethnographies of indigenous peoples in South America told us that several indigenous communities really don’t want their pictures taken; it is seen as a form of violence.

Many people find it really hard to understand photography as violence, (even I’m not sure if I can fully understand that) but photography really is imbedded with philosophical and political issues that may not be very obvious.

It’s kind of how here in the states it is illegal for magazines and to show nudity (like nipples etc.) when it isn’t porn which can only be restricted to sales in adult stores and the like. However, there are exceptions: when the naked people aren’t White or from Euro-industrialized countries. It is fine when National Geographic shows naked African and South American people in their homes, but really it is an invasion of privacy.

They always justify it with “well it’s because this is their natural state where they live”--and that is the key! This is normal where they live but by taking their pictures and publishing them in millions of other communities where it isn’t, changes the meaning. And even if the photographers ask for their permission it isn’t likely that it is informed consent all the time since those people may not really know how widely the magazine is viewed. And even more they may not know how different the context is and how different the perspectives of these viewers who are allowed to enter their privacy. Do they know that many people looking at them sexualize their bodies, exoticize them or think they’re backwards and savages? Probably not, so I think that it is a form of violence to invade such privacy and create an image of something different than what it is.

These tactics have been used as tools in colonization before. To depict people as savages in need of civilization. Or Muslim women in the Middle East as oppressed because they may wear headscarves. “Liberation” of women has been the recent false justification for current occupation and exploitation of countries.

I personally am not planning on taking pictures of women in thong bikinis or starving babies. Even though I don’t think that I am exoticizing Brazil and Brazilians, doesn’t the whole taking pictures of fruits and people and forests and beaches that aren’t so common to me kind of imply that? I’m doing it because I think it’s interesting because it’s different, or beautiful, and isn’t that what exoticizing is?

And this inner conflict is intensified when I’m posting pictures on this blog because I am necessarily taking them out of their context. They don’t mean the same thing to you than they do to people who live here. But I do think hard and weigh the benefits and harms of every picture.
And I usually don’t post pictures of people without their permission but I didn’t get permission from every single person who is in the pictures I take. I usually do if they are the focus of the picture but sometimes there isn’t the opportunity to do so, and I always prefer candid shots. So many pictures of people, I don’t post and I try to cut out their faces or something because they have a right to privacy too, even if they’re performing for us. I mentioned in the Lençóis entry that I felt uncomfortable posting pictures of the capoeiristas. I can’t really explain it, and not everyone has to think this way, though. These are just my feelings and perspectives and well obviously I end up taking pictures and here is how I go about doing that:

When and Why I Take them:
In general when I decide to take certain pictures I mainly do it for the purpose of assisting my memory. I am a very visual person and pictures really help me. I also just think of it as with taking pictures with my family and it’s not because I feel more powerful than them or think they’re exotic. It’s because I really liked that moment and wanted to capture it in an image to remember it for longer. There is emotion attached to all of the pictures I take. So those are my personal rules for taking pictures: for the sake of memory; they’re primarily for me and I will only show those pictures to people that I trust if at all. Another rule is, not only get people’s permission, but ideally after we consider each other friends or at least had meaningful conversations so it’s more to remember the people I meet than to “take a picture” of someone doing something “different”.

Deciding which to Post:
The reason I post up pictures though—apart from breaking between lots of words that can become a little tedious and boring—is to open up my viewers’ world by sharing visuals of these places and in hopes that you will view them with respect and try to understand what’s going on I guess. I do it especially for people who don’t have the opportunity to really see things like this or know too many people who have studied abroad and I feel that pictures really help orient. I have been lucky to see this and want to share. I know that there are many places that I will never get to see personally and I would really appreciate pictures and stories so I can travel vicariously through others.
The pictures I post are those that I don’t think would invade people’s privacy too much and hopefully to take them in a way that I’m not exoticizing or scandalizing anything. These are people or places just like anywhere we’re from. From my perspective though, there are fewer differences than similarities and I see more familiarity in things than not. But, anyway if there is ever any picture that offends you that I post here, or possibly a different way that I should post it, or if you think I should give more descriptions, let me know. Whatever your comments I would really appreciate them. And also if you want to discuss these issues that I mention here, I would love to!